Thursday, July 17, 2008

trantrum over.

Did you know critics are calling "The Great American Dog" (tv show), "the greatest reality show of all time." (----------------------------------dead air) WHAAAAAT?!?!

Okay, but seriously. I had a long conversation with Kendra the other day about how humanity doesn't know how to care for each other. What I mean by that is that they don't know how to show concern for each other. Example: So, I had a seizure almost 10 weeks ago. We did the hospital, doctors, medicine fiasco thing,(and we still are.) If you're an avid reader you've heard some of the stories. Anyway, the constant through it all was the question, "How are you doing?" If I'm anything, I feel I'm a consistently honest person. When I was present to answer the question in person, my answers varied, but one time I answered "we're doing okay", which I felt was fairly accurate. I was shot back with "No really, how are you doing?" I looked confused and said, "No really, we're doing okay." --Go from that to a lady telling me about her son who has seizures who's 25 and lives at home and is pretty much a vegetable--Go from that to a guy who told me about his uncle who was having seizures and they couldn't find out why he was having them and ended up having a tiny tumor and had awake brain surgery after 5 years of going to doctors.--PEOPLE! What happened to Sonic runs, and having lunch, and funny jokes, and reading blogs?

I had a friend during college that had cancer. He struggled with it off and on during my 4 years in college. During his times away from school, I tried to think of the most ridiculous things to send either in packages or in emails that were either just to make him smile, laugh, or help pass the time. I've never had cancer, but it sure doesn't sound like buckets of rainbows and sunshine. I tried my best to put myself in his shoes and think "If I was feeling sick, what would I want from my friends?" I texted dad jokes, emailed funny stories from the lunch table or SGA office, rallied ridiculous toys from the dollar store and mad libs already filled in, and music music music. I don't know if my ideas worked, I just know I didn't want to be one more person asking about cancer.

I'm not saying it's not nice to be asked how I'm doing but personally, I feel more cared about when Bennett offers to have TV time with me, or when Kendra/Shenold, and SB take me to Saturn Grill for dinner, or someone from our small group offers to cook us dinner. That translates to care 7 days a week more than, "How are you doing?" on Sunday morning ever will.

What do you think? Agree/Disagree?


Maggie said...

Ahhhh.... you have no clue how many times I refreshed your blog just waiting for the tantrum to end (good timing by the way). SO ON on this - I'm sure you know, my mom had cancer for more than half of my life thus far - the one thing you SHOULD NOT ask sick people is how they are feeling. How obnoxiously annoying. I can vouch for oh, 3 other people that the answer "fine" is complete bull and overused just to get them to shut it. Sorry, ranting. I'd make my own blog but I'm not even dedicated enough to update my website or facebook hardly. But yeah, people don't know what to say (ha, more like they can't think past "what do I say") - and they don't get that 'saying' something is not at all what they should be doing, but just 'doing' something might be on target. But also on that note, don't offer to help and make it ridiculously that much harder for the person you are wanting to help... hopefully that hasn't been a problem for you! and what is with that dog show!?!? for that, I'm glad we don't have cable (but I LOVE dogs, don't get me wrong on that).

Josh McCullock Photography said...

thats all well and good, but how is your spiritual life?

word is that we don't ask each-other that enough these days : )

realolivegreen said...

Maggie, you don't have to have cable to catch the greatest reality show on tv-you can catch it on CBS! will always be the one to comment on something so not the point. ARG! but i did laugh out loud. GET SERIOUS SON!

Karen said...

that really made me think and i'm definately feelin' you on this one. action/time means so much more.

Maggie said...

haha, you guys all make me LOL! We don't even have bunny ears tho.... just NO tv here, unless we buy or acquire downloads!

thatsilverlining said...

i agree.

maybe i should send you a pez dispenser! or a whoopie cushion. too bad i don't have your address.

Rick said...

Since the wife had cancer we discovered the other end of what it means to experience a grave illness. I never knew what that was like until then.

I tend to give people some "slack" when it comes to pondering how much they care. They don't know. How could they ever really know, unless they're become sick themselves, and I would not wish cancer or any kind of serious illness on my worst enemey.

So, my advice, tell them what you want, but give them grace when they don't respond as you would like.

Jodee said...

greatest reality show on tv? are you kidding me? i cried at the commerical (the one with the sad music about dogs that are abused and abandond and end up at shelters and put to sleep. aww. i'm crying all over agiain...) anwyays, that show made me want to PUNCH some of those people... the guy from oklahoma though: totally cool. most the girls with their prissy dogs they practically worship: STUPID! i pray i'm not one of those who thinks more highly of their dog than they ought to think.

and as far as not being able to communicate empathy well: i've been "taught" how to have empathy and i still struggle with it. its not natural for us, i'm not sure why.

Kendra Thomson said...

Wow! I made the blog. I feel famous!

And...I always read your blog, even if I don't comment!

Can't wait for dinner tonight!