Sunday, November 2, 2008

let your hair down

I don't have anything dramatic to write about since I haven't been an active employee for almost 6 months and a lot of my posts revolved around how absolutely horrible my job was and how I was trying to do anything else. Oh wait, I did and it was called a seizure. Well, I didn't really do that, it happened to me. So, I've decided to subject you to random things that I think about.

I have not had my independence since May 20th, 2008 (forever in infamy as Seizure Day.)
I am working through how I feel and have felt about what that day did to my life.
I am trying to decide on what to study in grad school.
I'm trying to decide if I should go to grad school.
I miss going to school. Truly, I do.
I've spent way more time than you ever have on a couch.
I've rediscovered a love for Kool-Aid.
I found a secret love for John Mayer's guitar and songwriting ability...but not necessarily his voice.
I hope I get to drive again soon but I'm also really nervous about being able to drive again.
I don't want to live my life in fear of ________, but I do a lot. (That wasn't me cussing, that was me leaving room for the many things that I fear.)
I have opened several business ventures in my mind with Katie and Holly that may or may not actually come to fruition. They really should though.
I am proud of myself because I used the word "fruition" and I believe I did it correctly.
I think that I really enjoy cooking and I'm not sure it would've happened if I hadn't had all this time to look for hobbies.
I also really enjoy cleaning and organizing. It helps me feel better and I get a lot of thinking done.
I know my mom wishes I'd discovered the last 2 things I wrote when I was still living with her. :)
I think I'll look really cute when I'm pregnant. Who doesn't?!
I saw someone on tv using a pencil and I remembered how much I loved using #2's when I was in college. I think mostly because I love the color gray. And I love to erase.
I have 3 Target stores memorized and dominate clearance racks like you don't even know.
I just got a shirt at Target for $3.24. It's my new favorite shirt.
I also got a cardigan at Target for $4.95 and I wear it too much but it makes me feel artsy.
I accidentally threw away my parents wedding picture that I'd been wanting that was tucked inside a Guidepost that had Bobby Flay's picture on the front. I still feel so bad about it.
I know who Bobby Flay is because I watch Iron Chef America on the Food Network.
I don't read blogs that look long because I don't enjoy reading. Unless it's Ben's blog.

I think this is enough for you to digest.


Mike said...

Hey Cara-
I've been thinking about you and your predicament some. (Clearly not as much as you have.)
I was struck by "I don't want to live my life in fear of _______."

Quite a bit lately I have, for some reason, had in my head the voice of John Lennon singing the line "Why on earth are we here? Surely not to live in pain and fear." from the song Instant Karma. I agree with him. And with you.

Of course, I have no answers to what you should do, study, or feel. But thanks for allowing us readers a peek into your psyche.

I also am proud of your usage of the word "fruition."

Mags said...

whoa! I just emailed someone and used (correctly I hope) the word fruition. I'm SURE because I read your blog previously!

live compassionately said...

Cara, I agree with Mike. I appreciate your honesty. You truly are an amazing person and I am grateful to have you as a friend.

sybil said...

yours and Jessy's are pretty much my fav blogs even though i have not really branched out to find more. but i love reading yours. i agree about school. i miss it even if i was a bad student then. i loved it.

brenda said...

Where are you thinking about going to grad school?

Mags said...

RANDOM - have you read marley and me? I think our dogs have.