Tonight was small group. It was so great to be back together with most everyone and catch up. We got on the subject of college and if we could do it all over again, would we have the same major, would we still have gone to the school we went too...
I re-realized that the choices we make are chain reactions. If I hadn't gone to school where I went, if I hadn't chosen the major I did, if I had gotten a different job...blah blah blah. Where would I be? Who would I be? What would I be doing? Would I be married? Would I have had a seizure? Would I be living in Ireland? Would I be in grad school? Would I have the friends I have now or have found friends that are like the friends I have now?
I used to believe in a God that knew what my every moment would be. This God who had already planned out my whole life and I believed that whatever happened was "meant to be." How much more powerful it is to believe in a God that allows me to choose. But at the same time, how overwhelming! Should we buy a house? Should I try to work full-time? Should I go back to school? Should we move to Oregon sooner? Should we move at all? Should I, should we...ah! All these choices!
At some point you have to decide and go from there. This could easily spin out of control with anxiety and worry. It's hard to keep from wondering what would be if we had made a different choice. I guess it's about learning to accept the fact that we will never know what could have been and being happy with what is and the choices you have made to lead you where you are. I think I need to work on that.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
D.C.
Holy crap, D.C. is so amazing. Luckily we're staying with locals who know the scoop so we don't have to carry a tour guide book, or maps, binoculars or stand reading directions for how to use the Metro.
Sunday night: Walked/saw the Washington, Lincoln, WW II and Vietnam Memorials + the White House (flag was up which means B was in the house, and when got up close the lights were off which means the house had "retired." That was kind of bummer, but still cool to stand at the gates and see it up close. Oh, and Tyler showed us the West Wing which isn't actually part of the White House, it's a completely separate building. The West Wing being one of my favorite shows, I felt a little cheated that I didn't already know that. Federal Reserve, US. Treasury, Pentagon, and.....probably other things I don't remember.
Monday: We walked around doing Tyler and Emily's engagement pics in Georgetown (allegedly the yuppie part of town.) They host $4 million dollar condos and Porsches. We saw a white Bentley. Holy cow. Those things look cleeeeeeannnn. Since Beyonce is in town performing for an Inaugural concert on Sunday, I just presumed it was her and Jay-Z's. They own one, you know. Anyway, we saw the Capitol which is giiinoooormous. US Supreme Court, the building where all the congressional offices are, the Library of Congress....I think that's all. We were going to squeeze in Arlington Cemetary, Holocost Memorial, and Iwo Jima memorial but we were tired and ready to sit still. Carl and I will try to do some of that and the American History Museum on Wednesday before we leave to come back. We'll see.
All in all, this city is tight and we don't know the 1/2 of it. Tomorrow is going to be crrraaaaazzzzzyyyyyyy!!!! We're leaving at 5am to head there. Lots of layers and giggles will be in attendance. EEEEK!
Sunday night: Walked/saw the Washington, Lincoln, WW II and Vietnam Memorials + the White House (flag was up which means B was in the house, and when got up close the lights were off which means the house had "retired." That was kind of bummer, but still cool to stand at the gates and see it up close. Oh, and Tyler showed us the West Wing which isn't actually part of the White House, it's a completely separate building. The West Wing being one of my favorite shows, I felt a little cheated that I didn't already know that. Federal Reserve, US. Treasury, Pentagon, and.....probably other things I don't remember.
Monday: We walked around doing Tyler and Emily's engagement pics in Georgetown (allegedly the yuppie part of town.) They host $4 million dollar condos and Porsches. We saw a white Bentley. Holy cow. Those things look cleeeeeeannnn. Since Beyonce is in town performing for an Inaugural concert on Sunday, I just presumed it was her and Jay-Z's. They own one, you know. Anyway, we saw the Capitol which is giiinoooormous. US Supreme Court, the building where all the congressional offices are, the Library of Congress....I think that's all. We were going to squeeze in Arlington Cemetary, Holocost Memorial, and Iwo Jima memorial but we were tired and ready to sit still. Carl and I will try to do some of that and the American History Museum on Wednesday before we leave to come back. We'll see.
All in all, this city is tight and we don't know the 1/2 of it. Tomorrow is going to be crrraaaaazzzzzyyyyyyy!!!! We're leaving at 5am to head there. Lots of layers and giggles will be in attendance. EEEEK!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
bdays are weird
Birthdays are weird.
No, I don't feel older.
No, it's not really any different than 23.
Yes, I still get told that I look like I'm in high school.
Yes, people don't believe I'm married.
No, I didn't ask for anything because I can't think of anything I need.
Yes, I share a birthday with Martin Luther King, Jr. (Haha! No one asks that.)
But seriously, aren't birthdays kind of awkward? You say "thank you" like, 5,000 times for the birthday wishes. People always embarrass you at restaurants. If you get a present (which you don't really get after you're...I don't know, 16, if that?) it's usually something you're like, "Oh...gee...thank you." My favorite part is my grandparents calling and singing to me over the phone in their sweet voices and my mom telling me things about the day I was born. Today it was, "it was a very cold morning when you were born."
I'm a year older. That's weird. I don't think tomorrow will be any different than today. (Except that it means I'll be on a plane to DC to see the inauguration Tuesday!!!!)
No, I don't feel older.
No, it's not really any different than 23.
Yes, I still get told that I look like I'm in high school.
Yes, people don't believe I'm married.
No, I didn't ask for anything because I can't think of anything I need.
Yes, I share a birthday with Martin Luther King, Jr. (Haha! No one asks that.)
But seriously, aren't birthdays kind of awkward? You say "thank you" like, 5,000 times for the birthday wishes. People always embarrass you at restaurants. If you get a present (which you don't really get after you're...I don't know, 16, if that?) it's usually something you're like, "Oh...gee...thank you." My favorite part is my grandparents calling and singing to me over the phone in their sweet voices and my mom telling me things about the day I was born. Today it was, "it was a very cold morning when you were born."
I'm a year older. That's weird. I don't think tomorrow will be any different than today. (Except that it means I'll be on a plane to DC to see the inauguration Tuesday!!!!)
Monday, January 12, 2009
24
I'm turning 24 on Thursday and that's weird.
Milestones used to be 16 (obviously drivers license,) 18 (obviously an adult,) 21 (officially an adult,) and then...crap, I'm graduating college? I'm getting married? Am I old enough to do that? 22 was weird. I graduated, I got married (only 2 weeks apart) and I joined the real working world with a salary and benefits. At 23, I started the new year working a 16 hour day to find my AWOL 17 year old crack addict Ray Ray a place to stay. My job went downhill and was stressing me to the max. I wrote my resignation letter and planned to submit it once I found another job. Seizure. No driving. No working. Lots of couch sitting. Now, I'm about to be 24...which qualifies as mid 20's, right? Carl turns 25 next month. That's 1/2 way to 30. Whaaat? I feel like I've got to get it in gear. A year goes by so fast! Our friends are having babies!
24 is weird.
But the show 24 is not weird. A bit cheesy but I still won't miss an episode. And I still love Jack Bauer.
Milestones used to be 16 (obviously drivers license,) 18 (obviously an adult,) 21 (officially an adult,) and then...crap, I'm graduating college? I'm getting married? Am I old enough to do that? 22 was weird. I graduated, I got married (only 2 weeks apart) and I joined the real working world with a salary and benefits. At 23, I started the new year working a 16 hour day to find my AWOL 17 year old crack addict Ray Ray a place to stay. My job went downhill and was stressing me to the max. I wrote my resignation letter and planned to submit it once I found another job. Seizure. No driving. No working. Lots of couch sitting. Now, I'm about to be 24...which qualifies as mid 20's, right? Carl turns 25 next month. That's 1/2 way to 30. Whaaat? I feel like I've got to get it in gear. A year goes by so fast! Our friends are having babies!
24 is weird.
But the show 24 is not weird. A bit cheesy but I still won't miss an episode. And I still love Jack Bauer.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
home
I tend to enjoy traveling. However, living out of a suitcase in 3 different states, in 4 different places got a little old. I've realized how true it is that you don't know what you've got till it's gone. I miss being home. I miss being somewhere that's familiar to me. I miss my bed (who doesn't.) I have slept really well out here, better than I've been sleeping at home, but still. As materialistic as it sounds, we've missed our couch and the Element and the kitchen. It'll be nice to have dinner with friends around the table again. Oh yea, and we've severely missed our friends! The hardest part of moving will most definitely be that our friends aren't coming with us. (Well...we're still working on them.) It will be hard to start over in a town where I don't know anyone. Carl has friends from his high school days that we see when we're in town, and I guess that means I'm friends with them too, but you know. I'm the one who's sitting there while they laugh about memories and stories and has this look on my face like, "I don't know who that is, where that is, what that means." Haha. I'm sure I look ridiculous.
I'll probably still miss home for a while after we move. I don't mean Oklahoma, I mean the place I've spent the last 23 (almost 24) years of my life. My family is here (or within 3 hours from here,) and I see them often. The tables will be turned. Carl's spent the last 6, almost 7, years out here away from his family. It will be weird I'm sure.
It's very intimating moving to a place I am not familiar with and also because Carl is really familiar with it. Everything here is SE, SW, NE, NW and streets turn into other streets and there seems to be 50 highways. There doesn't seem to be any pattern or reason for all the directions added to the signs. No grid here in Oregon. Public transportation is awesome but that's also going to be intimidating to learn. The MAX (subway-like system), streetcars, buses...yikes! I'm going to look like a tourist for a while and that will be fun.
Now, I'm sitting in the KC airport (ugh...this place is aweful,) and am glad to be experiencing no hitches on our flights home. We'll be back in the familiar in 3 hours. Woo hoo!
We had a lot of fun despite all the travel hiccups. Carl took some pictures so I'm sure those will surface sometime soon. Regardless of familiar vs unfamiliar, the Northwest is one of the most beautiful places I've been to. You should visit. (When we move there, you can visit us AND experience all it has to offer. Perfect!)
For the first time ever, I think I'm looking a year in the face realizing that it could hold many different opportunities. Carl and I are going to witness history in just a few short weeks at the Presidential Inauguration in D.C.. It's going to be mind-blowing. What a cool story to be able to tell our kids someday.
2009 holds a lot of hopes. Hopes for no seizures. Hopes for a job or career or something that makes me wait with anticipation to get out of bed in the morning. Hopes for more travels. Hopes for our new friendships through our small group to only grow deeper. Hopes to grow and support our friends in their new endeavors as parents. Hopes to be closer to debt-free. The list goes on and on.
It looks like it's going to be a great year.
P.S. Carl is laying on the floor of the airport snoring. Bah hahahahahah!
I'll probably still miss home for a while after we move. I don't mean Oklahoma, I mean the place I've spent the last 23 (almost 24) years of my life. My family is here (or within 3 hours from here,) and I see them often. The tables will be turned. Carl's spent the last 6, almost 7, years out here away from his family. It will be weird I'm sure.
It's very intimating moving to a place I am not familiar with and also because Carl is really familiar with it. Everything here is SE, SW, NE, NW and streets turn into other streets and there seems to be 50 highways. There doesn't seem to be any pattern or reason for all the directions added to the signs. No grid here in Oregon. Public transportation is awesome but that's also going to be intimidating to learn. The MAX (subway-like system), streetcars, buses...yikes! I'm going to look like a tourist for a while and that will be fun.
Now, I'm sitting in the KC airport (ugh...this place is aweful,) and am glad to be experiencing no hitches on our flights home. We'll be back in the familiar in 3 hours. Woo hoo!
We had a lot of fun despite all the travel hiccups. Carl took some pictures so I'm sure those will surface sometime soon. Regardless of familiar vs unfamiliar, the Northwest is one of the most beautiful places I've been to. You should visit. (When we move there, you can visit us AND experience all it has to offer. Perfect!)
For the first time ever, I think I'm looking a year in the face realizing that it could hold many different opportunities. Carl and I are going to witness history in just a few short weeks at the Presidential Inauguration in D.C.. It's going to be mind-blowing. What a cool story to be able to tell our kids someday.
2009 holds a lot of hopes. Hopes for no seizures. Hopes for a job or career or something that makes me wait with anticipation to get out of bed in the morning. Hopes for more travels. Hopes for our new friendships through our small group to only grow deeper. Hopes to grow and support our friends in their new endeavors as parents. Hopes to be closer to debt-free. The list goes on and on.
It looks like it's going to be a great year.
P.S. Carl is laying on the floor of the airport snoring. Bah hahahahahah!
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