Monday, October 31, 2011

Limbo and Music

Fact: My freshman year of college, I won limbo...on roller-skates. Yes I did.

2011 has pretty much been all about living in limbo. Another fact: I absolutely suck at living in limbo. I don't like too many unknowns floating out there. D-word life is all about the limbo. Stupid d-word life.

I've sold a bunch of stuff the past week and I'm co-hosting a garage sale this weekend for even more selling of stuff. It feels good. But at the same time, my house is getting empty. My walls are getting bare. The sound is getting echoey. I'm acting like I have a place to go and someone to go there with and I don't. Is this one of those horse before the cart things? Or leaping before looking? Whatever. I just keep going forward with the waves that seem to be drawing me toward the shore. All the while I'm wondering if I'm really in a rip tide or an undertow and I'm actually being carried back out to sea.

Have you heard the song "Restless" by Switchfoot? It's off their new "Vice Verses" album. It's as though Jon Foreman has been living in my soul. You should listen to it. It is exactly how I feel right now.

I've noticed the last 3 or 4 months that certain music has become more powerful to me. There are some amazing songwriters who have been through some serious pain. The reason I know that is because I have been through some serious pain. Their songs rattle to my core. They ring out in my bones. I've never had that kind of experience with music before. It has been beautiful and moving and sometimes creepy as I hear thoughts from my darkest time(s) articulated so beautifully by people I don't know. I'll try to remember to make a list of the songs I'm referring to. In the meantime, look up Restless.

I've got to stop staying up so late. Seriously. Bye.


Lindsay said...

You have to get rid of the old before the new can come in.

Jacquelyn said...

I am listening to the new Florence and the Machine and the song "Never Let Me Go" made me think of you.

Praying for you every day, my friend. You're a strong strong woman!