power

It's an interesting thing to think about the power that others hold over you. Whether they mean to or not, at some point someone has power over you.

Right now, the power I feel against me is in this interview process. I've never realized that when you interview somewhere you can be in a fairly vulnerable position. They have the power to offer me the job or not. They have the power to like me or not. They have the power to allow me to gain experience at their expense or to not. It's honestly a pretty scary process.

Today, I have my first 2 grown-up job interviews. I'm pretty nervous. I don't usually get nervous about stuff like this, but it's been 6 years since I've interviewed for a job. This time I'm fighting for a salary and benefits. Can you believe that? I will no longer have to punch in and out and be super careful to avoid the doctor (no insurance.) If they choose to exercise their power and offer me a job, they are giving me the ability to contribute to a household and to live a better life. At that point, they are giving me power to be motivated and care about what I'm doing.

Anyway, 10am and 4:30pm. Those are the interview times. If you choose to cheer for me, cheer for the 4:30 one. Cheer that I will be calm and be myself. I really want this job and I know I would really love doing it and be good at it. Oh, and you can cheer that they want me back for another interview. :)

Well. This is it. I'm off to join the "secular" world or the "work force" or whatever you want to call it.

I am officially an adult.

ps, i love my husband because he believes in me when i don't believe in myself.