Well, there's only 2 days left of 2012 so it's time for a final round up! I'm looking forward to setting new intentions for 2013 in the next week. I tried to be honest and objective as I reviewed the last 12 months and my intentions to change a lot of small things.
PEACE: The intention was to let more things go and to practice peace. This has been a wonderful challenge for me. I have a tendency to be quick to react, defensive, and hold on to things that don't matter. I honestly feel like I've managed to turn a huge corner where this is all concerned. A
QUIET: This intention revolved around shutting up, being still, and listening. Sometimes this was in regard to friendships or individuals, sometimes it was with my environment, and other times it was just to be present in the darkness or the light and not fight it. In a weird way I've enjoyed the tension and struggle of embracing quiet. B+
PLAY: This intention was to get me to participate in my own life and stop waiting for people to come to me. This unintentionally most often took the form of seeing a lot of live music. And I'm not sorry about it. A
FOLLOW THRU: This has been huge for me. Saying "No" as a complete sentence has been a big part of this intention. I have followed through on commitments, I have kept promises, I have met deadlines, and I have quit things that needed quitting. A-
RISK: This was really important for me to have on the list. I needed to force myself out of the mindset I had in 2011 which was survival and protection. I took several risks this year which include (but are not limited to) going on dates, going back to school, investing in new friendships, etc. I'm proud of myself. I have no regrets when it comes to the risks I took this year. B+
CHALLENGE: Grad School alone has been a huge challenge, but one that I have loved. I've challenged myself in friendships, in yoga (I can do a real handstand and a fully-extended tri-pod!); I've explored more new food than ever before and I've had more brutally challenging conversations this year than any time that I can remember. I feel happy about this intention. B+
MOVE: I feel confident that I've continued to move forward, continued to work on myself and be better, and continued to heal. A-
RESPOND: This will always be hard. But I'm learning to
acknowledge my initial reactions, sit on them, breathe, and respond when
I feel clear about things. There's always room for improvement. B-
CONSISTENCY: I've ended in a good place and I'm happy with that. It's taken a long time for me to be myself at work. It's a very weird environment for me and my personality. And it's safe to say that working on my driving will be on the list for next year, yet again. I need more patience in that area. C
HONESTY: #realtalk B+
INVEST: I've landed somewhere in the middle here. I can do better and I want to do better. C
GIVE: I've tried to do the best I can with what I have. But I know I've gotten in my own way on many occasions. And I know I am capable of doing more. C-
PRESENT: I am so glad this was on my list for the last year. It's been a great personal challenge. It started as something I wanted from others and so I challenged myself to do exactly what I was wanting. It's hard at first, but once you get the hang of it, it's worth it. Nothing can beat physical presence. Nothing beats having someone's full attention. And the same goes when you're the one giving. There is something special that happens when you can give someone your full attention; when you give presence. It's vulnerable, it's intimate, and it connects/bonds you to that other person on another level. I will continue to work on this one for sure! B+
REMEMBER: This intention has been so enjoyable. It's been all about sharing stories, reminiscing, laughing, crying, writing, reading, and just marinating in memories and special moments. It is so easy to forget to remember. I've enjoyed combating that amnesia. A-
DANCE: Easiest intention ever. A+ (Best public dancing moment of 2012: working it at a Thunder Playoffs game with Shenold where we made it on the jumbo-tron and national television. Also, completely embarrassing my little brother and sister while dancing to the Cupid Shuffle while waiting in line to ice skate.)
PS: As of January 3rd, I will have gone an entire year without soda. 1985-2010 Cara would not believe this.
See you in the New Year!