Mushy

There are some days that I wonder if I'll ever recover the pieces of my heart that are still broken and missing.

I wonder if your heart reshapes itself and learns to love in a different way because it can't ever love the same again. Because the original pieces will never all be back in one place.

I'm feeling those missing pieces today. My heartbeat is out of sync. It feels like it is still inside another person. A person who doesn't exist. Who isn't here. Who still has a few of my pieces.

This moving on, healing, forgiveness thing is not for the faint of heart. It's for marathon runners. It's for Olympic athletes. And today I feel like the water-boy; the 7th alternate for the pole-vaulting team.

This is hard. I'm letting it be hard today. Tomorrow I may be running a half-marathon. Or practicing for my Olympic debut. You never know with this crazy d-word journey.