tests complete

Oh man! Why is it always hard to stay up when you don't want to? Carl and I made it through our sleep deprived night to prepare for the tests this morning. It was about 2:30am when we went to bed and about 5:30am when we got up. We took our sweet time showering, getting ready, and headed to Bev's for some pancakes around 6:30am. We ate breakfast and laughed for entirely no reason. Then we walked to Starbucks so Carl could have some coffee to wake up. On the way back to the car I said in some ridiculous voice "I'm wearing a Pike's Place tshirt and you're wearing a Pike's Place coffee!" Obviously I messed up wearing and holding. This was followed by messing up other words and laughing hysterically for absolutely no reason throughout the morning. When I laid down for my mid-morning rest between tests, I looked at Carl and started the quiet shake laugh for a good few minutes until I finally caught my breath.

Soooooo, the tests. The EEG was rediculous. I looked like Albert Einstein I'm sure when they got all the electrodes hooked up to my head. They had me hyperventilate for 3 minutes (controlled breathing hyperventilation) which made me cold and tingly and dizzy. Then I had to lay perfectly still for 10 minutes with my eyes closed. Then, they put a strobe light in front of my face and did 4 different settings on it. That part almost killed me I'm pretty sure. If you ever need to torture someone, make them stay up all night, then put a strobe light in their face...all after they've had a seizure of course.

Ookkkaaaayyy. Then the silly nap, and on to the MRI. They got us right in and we finally had a good experience with a medical professional! The radiologist was tight. She even let us look at the scans afterwards. Anyway, if you've never had an MRI, just imagine the part in Willy-Wonka where they are in the TV and everything is white and bright and glow-y. Then with all the boat sounds and vibrations and techno music-like noise I felt like I was being transported to another planet. I found all the imperfections inside the tube which helped me focus on holding perfectly still. It was great.(Haha!)

So anyway, I should get the results back on Monday. My brain looks awesome and very intelligent so it looks like things are shaping up positively.

Thanks to everyone who's been concerned, praying, and supporting us through this crazy time. Hopefully a sense of normal will return sooner than later and my medication will either be adjusted or my body will adjust and I can get off this couch!

going crazy

This medication is nuts-o. For a week I was laying on the couch, walking and sitting up very little. I've earned some outings being seizure free for 10 days now. I got to get a pedicure on Wednesday. I got to go to Target for 30 minutes to get some bermuda shorts (I almost fell over 4 times) and then a much needed massage which was heavenly. Today I sat in Carl's office while he was in a meeting and we went to lunch. That was plenty after climbing the stairs to the apartment so now I'm laying on the couch again.

Guess what?!!!

Our GAY dvr from Cox (hate them!) erased our recordings and didn't record all the ones I set up for this week...so now I'm watching a documentary about Blood Diamonds on the History channel.


Tonight, I have to be sleep deprived for my tests tomorrow. So I'll be up till 2am and then up at 5am to dilly dally until we check in at 8am to have my EEG and MRI tests. Then I'll get a much needed nap and shower and get to eat dinner with KT and Shenold and watch a movie while Carl shoots a wedding.


Pray for us as we do these tests and pray that the results come quickly and they find whatever they're looking for. We are hopeful and trust that the future is bright and full of lots of seizure free days! (Too bad that won't move up my driving date of November 20th.)

Sunday positive:

Target has bermuda shorts on sale.


Sunday negative: I can't drive till November.

seizures and such

Check here:www.carlzochphotography.blogspot.com for updates on how we're doing and what's been going on in the last 36 hours.

career testing

So, i just spent about 2 hours taking a bunch of different FREE career tests online.(What else am I going to do...I'm layed up from another root canal.) Unfortunately I don't think it told me anything I didn't know.....here's my results:

-You will excel in service occupations involving personal contact. 13% of the total population.

-You'll thrive in a career that lets you bring order out of chaos for yours is a talent for organization.

-You need the human connection in your work to feel genuine satisfaction in your career. So, you're a natural for any of the "helping" professions.


Great. Thank you. I also was told I needed a job with a risk-factor in order for me to get out of bed in the morning. I don't know what that's supposed to look like...Oh wait, don't I already risk my safety every day in my current job? Yea...that doesn't motivate me to get up every morning.

a word...

Dweeb.




I hope it makes you laugh like it did me when I heard it on the radio.

Mamasita

I know I recently wrote about how my mom's getting old and does things that make me say "Oh bless it..." but seriously, she's a great lady.

She's getting an award tomorrow at church that she doesn't know about. It's for distinguished service. She totally deserves it, even though I know she'll think she doesn't. I helped arrange for my G-parents, aunt, sister and nephew be here. It's worked out well since tomorrow is mother's day and my mom has no idea. She's just glad we're all here and together. We had dinner and chatted tonight.

I used to not like my family. There's still times that they make me mad and when they don't understand or know who I really am. But that's okay. Tonight I really enjoyed just being with everyone and having conversation. And hearing my grandparents laugh...

same ole post

It's really no surprise that I have to blog about my job again is it?

I've at least had the convo with my supervisor...she knows I'm looking for another job, she's supportive and even said "anyone would be lucky to have you as an employee...I'll definitely be sad to see you go, you're one of my best workers." I'm at least grateful that she's not pissed that I want to leave.

Hopefully I'll get some calls and have some interviews soon...otherwise I'll be quitting without a job to fall back on and resort to a Starbucks barista.

I haven't figured out what that thing is that clicks with me. I don't know what I'd like to do, I just know it isn't what I'm doing now. I know that I'd much rather live in Italy where they work 9 months and break for 3. I also know that I'd much rather live off Canon Beach and run a coffee shop for 6 months out of the year and travel the rest of it. I know that whatever it is I end up doing for a vocation needs to be something that makes me excited to get up in the morning and not totally bummed.

I know you've heard this all before...just have to get it out...again.

back to my mommy

Carl's been in Virginia since Thursday to co-shoot 2 weddings with Steve Watkins (who happened to shoot our wedding almost 1 year ago!!!) I'm one of those people who can't live alone. I shared a room with my sister for 16 years of my life, I had a roommate through college, and I got married after graduation so I've never had to live by myself and I've been very okay with it. So, while Carl's gone, I usually move back home for however long until Carl comes back. Since we've been married, this has usually been only a few days at a time. This time, it's 6 nights. As you read below, I've had some dental work done and been in some pain and drowsy for the last few days so it hasn't been a major deal. Well, except that I haven't slept very well because my mom snores like a freight train. Anyway, what was inevitable happened yesterday. I got lectured and mommy-ed by mi madre. I think it was just a relapse on her part since I've been living back at home for longer than usual. I'm over it.

I came to the realization yesterday that mom's getting older. Her truck had a flat so we jumped the toyota and she drove it to church. Well, she hit the wiper piece thinking it was the "gear shifter." She turned off the car, went inside, and the car starts rolling and runs itself up on a sidewalk. Luckily, she goes to church super early and there weren't any cars around (or people) and it hit the sidewalk before damaging anything else. SO, I get to church and all these people are asking me what was wrong with Carl's car (he drives it usually) and I'm like whaaaaaaaat are you talking about. I hear the story, they tell me they moved it off the sidewalk but it was still in neutral (actually "Drive"). So as we leave, I walk my mom to the car, indeed, it was in "drive" and the key had been taken out improperly and been running down the battery. That's not all, since being here, she's talked to Bauer like he's a human, and I find her humming and singing to herself and later denying it when I ask her. Oh, and her speaking voice is incredibly loud!

Bless it...

dentistry

Like 99% of everyone alive, I hate the dentist. I had my regular check up a week ago. At that appointment, I found out my previous dentist of 23 years was a fraud. He told me I wouldn't have to have my wisdom teeth removed (I do), he put on stainless steel crowns which he told me were permanent (they're not). Okay, so at my check up, I was told I had a periodontal infection and would need a laser treatment and some antibiotics. I was told my stainless steel crowns would need to be removed as they are meant to be temporary and the 3 years I'd had them on already was outrageous. I had a small filling. Oh, and my wisdom teeth would need to be removed.

So, yesterday, I was supposed to have my laser treatment, filling done and my crowns replaced with porcelain ones. My appointment started at 10am. It was supposed to be 2-3 hours. Upon removing my crowns, the dentist found that both of my teeth were decayed and very soft. One was able to be fixed and a crown placed over it. The other had to have a root canal. They ask me, on happy gas, if I'll consent to the root canal. I say "might as well since i'm already here." So they put me on oxygen, get me coherent enough to sign paperwork and have me sign my new bill, and then put me back on the happy gas to continue. SO, root canal....oh, and I had been in the chair so long my Novocaine and topical treatment were wearing off so I had to have more shots. Okay, so by this time, they can't put the crown over the tooth that had the root canal because it needs to heal, so i had to have another temporary crown put on (which is larger and doesn't allow my mouth to close or bite to line up...awesome.) So it's 2pm!!! Only 1 crown on and a root canal with a shotty temporary crown. $600 later, I'm walking out of the office like a severely inebriated individual and somehow drove myself to get highlights from Christina. And i forget to have them call in my pain medication and antibiotics. So i call with a 1/2 numb mouth, sore jaw, and rediculous speaking voice. My mom miraculously picks them up after I suffered for 4 hours in the hair chair.

On the bright side, Christina did a BOMB job! On the not-so-bright side, I have another 3 hour appointment Monday to have my filling done and temporary crown removed and replaced with my porcelain one. Hopefully I'll be done with the dentist for a while...gee whiz.

goodness lives

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOkay. SO, I'm doing some grocery shopping at the Die For Less...call my mom, Bauer needs dog food. Got it. It's only on the bottom shelf, and 30 pounds. No problem. I got it on that bottom shelf part of the cart. I manage to find all the stuff I need, get to the checkout, lift the bag from the bottom to the top. The cashier so nicely and easily lifts the bag, *beep*, and then puts it back in my cart...but setting it up so all the weight is at the bottom and he puts it at the end of the cart so it's top heavy at the skinny end making it incredibly hard to start and stop. Oh great.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOkay. SO, I get all the million and one bags into the backseat and move the cart around to the other side to put it in the car. This very intimidating bald man, sees me about to hoist it into my backseat and says to me: "I'm not saying you can't, I'm just saying if there's a real man around, you shouldn't be." (Correctly assuming I know what he's talking about.) I thought for a second about saying "No really, I didn't need help getting it from the bottom shelf to my cart, or the cart to the checkout, so I'm pretty sure I can get it from the cart to my backseat." But instead I said "Thank you" and put my cart up and leave.


OOOOOOOOOOOOOkay. SO, I'm at the stoplight, windows down, and hear "Mine eats a lot less." There's my knight holding up a snow white Pomeranian. I say "I bet that's nice!" He tells me "Yea, she eats an 8lb bag of that Natural stuff from Pets Mart in 2 weeks." I say "Well it looks like it's working out for her huh." He says "Yea...ever since my ex-wife left we've been buddies." Oh dang...that sucks. But I smile and wave because the light turned green.



Thank you kind sir for proving that random acts of kindness do exist. And thank you also for being the intimidating Mr. Clean with a tiny fluffy white yappy dog.

artsy

I started my oil painting class tonight with Vo-Tech. The teacher is 68 with country western hair and the most forgetful person ever. It took us almost 2 hours to even start painting. And then I did it the way she explained and she called me out in front of the whole class. I actually was doing what she said but she felt it necessary to come over and show me anyway. Whatever.

At least all my classmates are over 50 so I have a pretty good shot at being the best. (I'm not competitive)

being american

I need a car that doesn't get broken into.

I need someone to pay off my ridiculous private collegiate education.

I need a job I don't hate.

I need a purchased home with hardwood floors and a red door.

I need an income that can support our dreams that won't require me to work 12 hour days.




Much love,

Me being okay with my selfish American tendencies.

boily shmoily

Traditions never die. We enjoyed our yearly trip to the Herbert Ranch to enjoy some good 'ole southern seafood of crawfish, shrimp, potatoes and corn this weekend. It was great to see our friends from far and wide. We'll see you next year!

why i'll forever be a renter

Wouldn't a Monday night movie be lovely?

Part 1: Cara hits an unknown substance with her hydroplane flip-flops and falls to her knee only to drench her entire right leg jean from the knee down in said unknown substance. *skins knee. *my lovely husband gets Cara load of napkins to dry her jeans.

Part 2: 2 female moviegoers decide that in the entire theater, the seat they most covet is the one where my knee is healing, jeans are drying, and feet are resting. Don't think for one second that I didn't say "Seriously?!" in a not-so-movie-friendly voice.(*it's probably helpful that you know these 2 newcomers made the total count in the theater to a whopping 12. We proceeded to move 4 seats down to regain my footrest.

Part 3: Towards the end of the movie, in the heartfelt part when I'm on the verge of tears, some peeps behind us think this is a great time to make noise. I excused the noise as crying...but then realized it was muffled laughing and began to hate them.


Conclusion: We will continue to enjoy the Red Box and our living room.


It's also humorous to know that previously this evening...
-We froze on the patio at On the Border. (turns out it wasn't that warm after all)
-Carl got "the hand" from a saleslady at Helzburg Diamonds when she was looking us up in the computer so that my ring could be cleaned and checked.
-Cara got the speech about not having her Helzburg card from the saleslady. Cara tells the lady it was in her wallet when her wallet was stolen. Lady can't find our account and asks for help. Other lady helping us was about as exciting as my 16th birthday surprise party. (Not exciting.)
-Cara takes her wedding bands to Gordan's to have them cleaned and checked. Lady asks for the paperwork. I don't have it on me. Cara has to listen to second speech about how important it is to have your paperwork with you when your ring is being checked.

mindless

I won't go as far as to say " I enjoy mindless housework like empty-ing the dishwasher, ironing, sweeping, putting away clothes, or cleaning." That would give my beloved Carl a reason to not do the above mentioned items. However, I will say that today was the first time that I used an iron since probably middle school. No joke. The invention of that wrinkle-releaser spray was for me and people like me. Anyway, I had picked up laundry the other day that I'd left at my mom's because it was already 11pm and it wasn't dry yet. So, I picked it up. Of course it's been in the dryer for something like 18 hours by this point and most of it's wrinkled. I say to myself "screw it" and put it in the grocery bags and leave. Well, I wanted to wear one of the items today but knew it was wicked wrinkly. Knowing I haven't used an iron in something like 8-10 years, I didn't really want to break my record. However, it was a new dress and I really wanted to wear it so I busted out the iron...and I even threw down my ironing skills old school on the dining room table with a towel between the table and my dress. I did a bomb job. There was something so therapeutic for me about making all those dog-gone wrinkles disappear. So of course, I clean out my closet making bags of clothes to give to Goodwill and finding other items that needed a good ironing. By the end of it, I felt so much better. Just the simple act of making wrinkles disappear. Well and I had just purged myself of 3 paper bags of pajama pants, t-shirts, and other items I can no longer wear, so I'm sure that helped too. And I put away all my clean clothes and made our bed. So now, I'm sitting on the couch so relaxed and thankful for tasks that have become therapeutic for me...even if that means I'm doing them alone.

i don't know.

I'm driving to training on Thursday morning...it's all the way in Norman, so it's a nice thinking drive. I pass a man driving a brand new SUV with one of those christian fish on the back. He's smoking with the windows up. I immediately start thinking to myself..."Can you be 'Christian' and smoke?" And then I took it further because I'm sure you can be "Christian" and do pretty much anything. But, can you do something that you know has the potential to kill you? But then, can't you really say that about driving? I could die driving a car...but I still drive a car. I don't know...

My training this month was on child sexual abuse. Needless to say I was mentally and emotionally exhausted last night from processing all the information and trying to decide if there's any room for redemption in the lives of people who do such horrible things to children. And then I was so paranoid that everyone in the grocery store was a child molester or rapist that I left and asked my mom to come over and keep me company till Carl got home 2 hours later. I'm sure that sounds lame, but that's just part of who I am I guess. I'm also still scared of the dark and can't stay anywhere by myself over night. So there, I'm super lame.

So I don't know. Sometimes questions with no answers drive me crazy. This weekend I'm pretty much okay with just leaving them alone for now.

Any answers?

Walley World

So it's no secret I don't like Wal-Mart. Almost 2 years ago, I came across a website called "Wake-Up-WalMart.com" I began learning how WalMart paid men more than women, they denied their employees health benefits, and imported more products from China than any other superstore or chain in America. I started boycotting and refused to buy anything at Wal-Mart. Yes, it's more annoying, but I somehow feel like I'm changing just a little part of the world by not supporting the monster that is the "Big Box." It's okay if you don't agree with me. It's okay (i guess) if you choose to support Wal-Mart. I just hope it's a little harder after reading the facts about the company.

I'm not technologically savvy so just copy and paste the links for some anti-walmart videos done by Wake-Up-Walmart.com

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvxaA3h0iPs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCxcH5q7qDA



http://www.wakeupwalmart.com
-the news section is overflowing with stories of ex-employees and their experiences during and after working for WalMart not the least of which is the brain-damaged woman in Missouri who now owes WalMart almost $500,000. What a world...

a baby is born...

yep. i got paid to watch a live birth today. my new case, a 14 year old girl who's in our custody, gave birth to a baby boy around lunch time. he's really cute, but he has the most vortex of a cone-head I've ever seen. maybe all babies do when they first come out but still. it was wicked cone-y.

the girl did great. she threw up off and on through the delivery which surprisingly was the only part of the birth that made me want to vomit. anyway, she did great. no complications, no tearing, no stitches, no nothing. this is a pretty sweet deal considering she is 4'11'', weighs about 100 pounds, and has very small hips.

now that i've seen a baby born, i'm even more okay sticking to the 6-8 year plan of Carl and I's to become parents.

well, so tomorrow i get to place her baby in custody and hopefully in the same foster home as hers. and i'll get to hold baby boy unknown!

"My Michigan"...though some deny it.

So, I was in Michigan March 6-9th. While it wasn't a nice change in weather (10-32 degrees!) it was a nice break from my job. I did pretty good at not checking my work phone either. (Yay me.) Pretty much all we did was eat, wear sweat pants, watch tv, and a little shopping. My shopping was at Forever 21 and Target. Now I know you're like "Target! We have those here moron!" Okay, but you have to understand that last year in Michigan was my glorious $7 jeans from Target and since I can't wear them right now, I was sure that Michigan was holding at least another pair of cheap jeans. (I was right! and 2 pairs at that!) The other shopping was watching Bennett drop some cash at Pottery Barn Outlet and The North Face Outlet. (I got a BOMB backpack for 60%off)

My favorite part of the trip was being with 2 friends that are capable of being what I call pause/unpause friends. They're the friends that when you're not together for a while, and then you get to spend some time together you just pick up where you left off. I absolutely love that I have these friends that don't freak out about stupid stuff.

For some reason, I was obsessed with facts about Michigan on this trip. "My Michigan" is the state song, but most Michiganders dispute it's authenticity as the state song. Michigan is basically a lot of towns with around 100,000-150,000 people about 20-30 minutes apart, with the exception of the capitol, Lansing. Michigan also has the most golf courses of any other place in the world
. This is interesting to me because Michigan is covered in snow for 1/2 the year. But trust me folks we drove by a ton. Residents of Michigan are referred to as "Michiganders." Detroit is the car capitol of the world. (duh) The world's largest manufacturer of magic supplies is in Michigan. Michigan has the world's only floating post office. At any place in Michigan, you are no more than 85 miles from a Great Lake.


I hope you feel smarter. I know I am.


Oh, and if you drive from Michigan to Oklahoma, you get to drive through 5 states in 15 hours. (Michigan, Indiana, Illinois, Missouri, and Oklahoma) And you get to drive through towns like Brazil, Cuba, Paris, Teutopolis, and Effingham. Couscous is made in Effingham...in case you didn't know.


That's all. Michigan is cool. (pun intended)